The other day my husband and I unearthed our childhood photo albums. They were tucked away in the closet under the stairs like a collection of obedient, rectangular Harry Potters waiting for someone to notice them. My husband found his old track album filled with newspaper articles, but most of the albums were mine. My mom took massive amounts of pictures during my high school years. Pictures of dance team, family trips, and trips I’d taken in college and beyond. Looking through them brought back amazing memories, but I also noticed something new.
In my eight grade yearbook, I found an insert where I’d written in my favorite things and goals for the next year: “What’s one thing you’d change about yourself?” My answer surprised me.
I want to stop being so QUIET.
QUIET in all caps. Even by age 13 I knew I wasn’t speaking up for myself, and didn’t know why. I’ve always been a quiet person. I spent most of my time observing, not like in a creepy way, but I watched other people. I soaked in their words, actions, and feelings. I was far more tuned into other’s emotions and needs than my own.
Why did I have a hard time speaking up for myself?
Fast forward. I’m a mom and a coach. A coach for moms. The learning process fascinates me. In becoming a mother, I’ve learned how to speak up for both myself and my family. I’ve learned to be “that” mom a little more and care less about what people think. It’s incredible to see how getting to know your own story shifts the world around you. As YOU change, THE WORLD changes. Knowing (and owning) your story allows you to choose how to show up.
That’s the thing. We’ve all got a story.
We’ve all got a past full of joys, hurts, and trauma (big and small). Something happens when you add the words ‘mother’ to your identity. (Something similar, but not the same with becoming ‘father’.) Once you’re a parent, it’s important to unearth unconsicous patterns and deal with them so you don’t pass them onto your kids. That’s what I do as a coach. I’ve graduated from observing others to helping them see their stories. Some stories build us up, some keep us stuck, and most are trying to keep us safe (in a way that’s neither necessary nor helpful).
Getting to know your stories allows you to act with purpose. You set a new standard for life.
(You set that example for your children.)
Working with a coach is not about changing your life completely (unless that’s what you want). It’s about creating awareness around the patterns and beliefs that keep you stuck in the same frustrations day after day. It’s about working through your stuff so you don’t pass it along to your kids. It’s about being a model of healthy self love and showing that to your kids (and the world) as well.
You want to be a great role model AND make an impact in the world. When it feels like you *should* be helping everyone else, trust me when I say that YOU are the place to start.
When you start with your health, well-being, and self love, you change the course of history.
(No, I’m not being dramatic.)
If you want to stop feeling exhausted or ‘not enough’ or constantly overwhelmed, then you’re ready to unearth your stories. Every time a woman, a mother, understands what’s keeping her stuck and chooses a different standard for her life, it elevates everyone.
If you’re curious about coaching or want to chat about what working with me looks like, we start with a conversation. You can schedule a call here. I look forward to it.